I do not have a dominant hand or side of the body but rather perform certain tasks with my right hand, certain tasks with my left, and other tasks I can perform with either. While there are some tasks for which I am truly ambidextrous, I cannot be considered ambidextrous because I do not perform most tasks equally well with either hand. I am what is referred to, then, as mixed-dominant or cross dominant. People assume I’m left-handed because I write with my left hand. Most things, though, I do with my right hand.  The only type of pattern I can discern in what I do with my left hand is that some things that involve fine motor coordination — such as writing or using chopsticks — I usually do with my left hand. Anything that I am left-handed with, I am completely useless trying to perform that task with my right hand. However, most of these tasks I can still perform with my left hand, albeit somewhat more poorly.

My mixed dexterity does not translate into good general dexterity. Learning how to embroider has really been illuminating just how clumsy my fingers are.

Is it my fingers, though? Recent studies have shown that mixed-handed folks are  more likely than left- or right-hand dominant people to experience mental health, learning, and language struggles. Some hypothesize that this results from an abnormal symmetry between the brain hemispheres of mixed dominant people — using both sides for motor functions can, possibly, have the brain wire itself to be more symmetrical than brains typically are. The two hemispheres, though plastic and capable of rewiring in amazing ways where one hemisphere can take over the functions of the other if it is damaged (or gone — see hemispherectomies), generally are structured and function differently and this asymmetry helps the brain to function well. In other words, it’s possible that my brain is too symmetrical.

I am going to choose to believe that this is the reason that my fingers are clumsy. Well, I know that really my embroidery work is clumsy because I am new at it and I have not yet practiced enough to not have clumsy fingers. But the symmetrical brain may be a part of it. My lack of cerebral lateralization — the normal hemispheric differences in function — may mean that each hemisphere sometimes compete for a response, causing messages to get mixed and certain responses to get delayed or produce a poor result. I have issues, for instance, with spatial awareness and spatial planning and find it extremely difficult to properly coordinate my hands for two-handed tasks. My hemispheres interfere with one another. Piano lessons, for example, did not go well — I could play with my right hand fine, I could play with my left hand fine, but I was nearly hopeless when it came to putting them together. When I tried to learn how to play the ukulele I ran into similar problems — I couldn’t figure out anything more than basic strumming patterns when I tried to combine them with chords.

My spatial issues and poor ability to coordinate both my hands have shown up in embroidery. Can doing embroidery — something that encourages the development of my fine motor skills, spatial planning, and cerebral lateralization (I am finding that I stitch with my right hand while the left performs a minimally involved, supportive role) — help me overcome such difficulties through practice?

Or, am I doomed? Of course, this is all pretty contrived — I predominantly favor my right side, so my brain is probably a good amount of asymmetrical. I do really have trouble coordinating my hands and I do have spatial planning problems. These are likely not correlated with my semi-mixed handedness — I am probably just looking for an excuse for my clumsy fingers after getting very frustrated with them this week for the messiness of the back of my embroidered pieces and for their inability to properly execute a buttonhole heart stitch. Actually, the buttonhole heart stitch (video below), was what made me start to consider my potential crossed laterality. If you watch the video (starting at 2:04), or look at the basic instructions from the stitch sampler I got, you’ll see that you do a set of stitches on one side and then have to perform the mirror function on the other. My brain did not like having to mirror something. I could fairly effectively perform the stitch on the right side of the heart, but my ability to perform the mirror of this on the left side was practically non-existent regardless of how many times I watched this and other videos, which indicates to me that my spatial planning skills are affected by lateralization. Maybe I need to try doing the left side of the heart with my left hand?